Swimming, Faith, and the Goal

Cold and apprehensive, I look out over the still mirror of water, contemplating my willingness to commit. My momentary afflictions are not overpowered by the hope I have in the greater goal. SPLASH!! My breath is taken captive at once within my lungs, my feet hit the bottom of the pool, and I push off toward the surface. It begins.

Splish splash Splish splash… Ever stroke propels me through the stillness in a cadence established by every movement of my body. I feel the air move into and out of my lungs, the rhythm of my heart beating in conjunction with my strokes. The clear, cool liquid rushes around me, and it drowns out the other voices. It’s just me, God, and the water.

I’m tired. It’s been a challenging practice. Our coach knows where he wants to take us as a team. He knows every one of our limitations, our boundaries, even our psychological struggles when we think we have nothing left. That’s when he pushes us harder. That’s when we get better. I know my face is red and my stroke is sloppy, but I keep pushing myself. No matter how long this practice is, I know it has an end. That gives me all the more reason to be completely expendable while I’m in the water. It’s getting to the point where I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish. As I breathe to the right, I see my coach, bent low, walking along beside me, whistling and urging me on. Sometimes I look for him when I find nothing within myself to keep me going. Sometimes I don’t want to see him. It hurts to push my limits. Sometimes I even find myself getting angry when my fingertips finally touch the wall, and he’s right there to send me on my way again, even though I’m never ready for it. Looking back, I know that this is when I get stronger and faster. My improvement can only be attributed to the willingness of finding motivation outside myself, to listen and to do what I can with what I have left, always keeping in mind the greater goal.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:17-18

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:13-14

“I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for those of us who believe.”
Ephesians 1:18-19

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down on the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.”
Hebrews 12:1-3

“’Are- are- are you,' panted Shasta, 'are you King Lune of Archenland?' The old man shook his head. 'No,' he replied in a quiet voice, 'I am the Hermit of the Southern March. And now, my son, waste no time on questions, but obey. This damsel is wounded. Your horses are spent. Rabadash is at this moment finding a ford over the Winding Arrow. If you run now, without a moment’s rest, you will still be in time to warn King Lune.’
Shasta’s heart fainted at these words for he felt he had no strength left. And he writhed inside at what seemed the cruelty and unfairness of the demand. He had not yet learned that if you do one good deed your reward usually is to be set to do another and harder and better one.”
C.S. Lewis from The Horse and His Boy

“And so at last they got on the move. Lucy went first, biting her lip and trying not to say all the things she thought of saying to Susan. But she forgot them when she fixed her eyes on Aslan.”
C.S. Lewis from Prince Caspian

I’m always thankful when practice is over, and a peaceful joy overwhelms me. Swimming is a gift to me, and I don't expect anybody to really understand the depth of it. I don’t know how to live this life, to glorify God with every step of my day, but I do know that we are living for so much more than this life, and in all times, the good and bad, I know that the only way to get through it is to look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.

Instability

I'm back at CSU, after a once again difficult transition time into winter break, in which I was frustrated and confused, not unlike the majority of last semester. I searched scripture half-heartedly for an answer, and God gave me some critical insight into having a strong foundation in Him. Unfortunately I procrastinated in writing anything substantial down, but still want to reflect upon what I learned, though it may not be complete and it certainly won't have the same impact as it had on me while I was learning.
I wonder why sometimes it is so hard for me to transition between life at school and life at home with my family. Though there are many, many reasons, some of which I know and don't want to get into, and some of which I have no idea, there are a few reasons that are blatantly obvious in scripture: I don't have a strong foundation in Christ because I don't always listen and obey, I doubt when I ask God for wisdom in trying to live this life, and I look back to my past when I'm home. Here's what God says in three passages of scripture:

Luke 6:46-49
"But why do you call Me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do the things which I say? Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great."

James 1:2-8
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all his ways."

Luke 9:57-62
"Now it happened as they journeyed on the road, that someone said to Him, "Lord, I will follow You wherever You go." And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head." Then He said to another, "Follow Me." But he said, "Lord, let me first go and bury my father." Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and preach the kingdom of God." And another also said, "Lord, I will follow You, but let me first go and bid them farewell who are at my house." But Jesus said to him, "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."

(Note: this last chunk is hard for me to understand in a lot of ways, but the commentary in my Bible from John Macarthur helped a lot:
let me first go and bury my father. This does not mean that the man's father was already dead. The phrase, "I must bury my father" was a common figure of speech meaning, "Let me wait until I receive my inheritance."
let the dead bury their own dead. Let the world (the spiritually dead) take care of mundane things.
looking back. A plowman looking back cuts a crooked furrow.)

I think one of the most impactful things I learned out of these verses was the last one:
"No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."... A plowman looking back cuts a crooked furrow. One of my biggest weaknesses in going home is laying in my bed, looking at my walls and my pictures, glorifying my high school memories. If that doesn't derail me in my race towards Jesus, I don't know what does. I need to stop looking back and start running full speed ahead. God has blessed me with a lot of incredible memories, but nothing compares to the future the sons of God can hope in.

A common theme in all of these verses is the instability of those that don't quite have it together. The man who hears God and doesn't obey has no foundation in Christ and is therefore ruined when any difficulty in life arises. The man who doubts when he asks God for wisdom is tossed around by the difficulty and persecution of this life, and he is incredibly unstable. The man who wants to follow Jesus, but keeps looking to find comfort and satisfaction from his past is not only unable to stay on the right, God glorifying path, he is unfit for the kingdom of God!!

I am praying that God can help me apply these verses to my life. I don't understand a lot about this life and this world, and I screw up a lot, but I trust that God will meet me where I'm at and can help me to become a person that is not pushed around by this world, but stands firm in Him.